My Introduction to Job 42:5

My life has been quite the disaster, if not in the last couple years, pretty much the entire thing. I have probably read the book of Job from beginning to end twice in my life. I think most Christians understand at least the basic premise when the story of Job is mentioned. The man lost everything. It is an analog for going through a rough patch in life but hoping for a happy ending. I have had Job moments in my life where I had to cry out, “the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Sometimes that is all we can do in the face of the absolute most gruesome circumstances. When life is unjust and unfair… it really wasn’t fair to Job to have God allow Satan to hurt him so severely.

So, recently my life had fallen apart. I thought one day, “maybe I should read the book of Job again to relate to this unjust cruelty by God.” Well, then I thought, “man, the book of Job is HARD… I am already in enough pain and suffering. I don’t want to add to it by reading how God uses pain to refine us. Just not in the mood for that. Too painful.” Recently I was scrolling Instagram and I came across a peculiar verse that stopped me in my tracks.

“I have heard reports of you with my ears, but now I have seen you with my eyes. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”

Job 42:5.

This brought me to my knees. I wailed and cried and repented, in dust and ashes.

All my life I had grown up in church. All my life I sorta knew I was a Christian. All my life I believed in the divinity of Jesus and his death and resurrection as a miraculous atonement for my sins. When I was young, I didn’t quite understand the theology. I had a lot of questions. “Why did he have to die?” ? … Just now as I write this, I am hit with emotion. “Why did he have to die? Why do I have to die?” But he lives! And so we have life in him. Praise God! ???? ❤️ See, I derailed my blog post by needing to repent in dust and ashes. When you SEE Jesus… you cannot but repent. There is no other response possible. On February 15th, 2023, I had a vision of Golgotha and Jesus. I will write a post specifically about the vision (A Vision of Jesus). Ever since that day, God has been giving me word after word after word to POINT ME BACK TO JESUS! Amen. When I stumbled across Job 42:5, I recalled my vision. I realized God calling out its importance. “Turn your eyes upon Jesus” – an absolute favorite hymn. It’s all about Jesus, folks.

I spent all my life hearing reports of God with my ears. I listened to countless sermons. I listened to countless podcasts. I watched countless youtube videos. I read countless books and commentaries. I sang countless hymns and worship songs. I read countless devotionals. I read the bible through and through. I heard and prayed countless prayers. I ate countless communion sacraments. I fellowshipped countless hours with other believers. But that afternoon in February, as I laid prostrate, crying until I could not breathe… I looked up and saw Jesus with my eyes. ???? ❤️ “I have heard reports of you with my ears, but now I have seen you with my eyes. And I repent in dust and ashes.”